Wish I Had Not Strolled Down Memory Lane

While shopping for items to fill the gift bag for the senior citizen I adopted for Christmas, I chanced upon something in the dollar store my hands could not resist. While I was buying gifts like puzzle books, toiletries, cookies and pudding cups I turned a corner and there were the Cracker Jacks.

Wahoo! What a deal! Three small boxes banded together for only $1.00! I couldn’t wait to get back to the office. Around mid-afternoon I tore the box open, poured the contents on a paper plate and commenced to noshing.

They were NOT as good as I remember.

#1 none of the peanuts had candy coating

#2 much of the candy coating tasted like slightly burned sugar

#3 the prize was a cheesy piece of paper with a baseball trivia fact.

I sat at my desk in misery knowing I couldn’t pick my teeth in the office. I remained miserable until the public was gone from view.

I am sending the remaining two boxes home with our children’s director. I learned my lesson. What you remember as being scrumptious when young, you're going to pay for it when you're old. 

Where did I put that floss?

Pulled Pork Sliders

Pork shoulder roast / 5-7 lb. (Yields quite a bit of meat)

1 bottle beer

1 container beef broth

2 onions

1 Tbsp. Kitchen Bouquet

1 Tbsp. Worcestershire Sauce

½ to 2/3 bottle of your favorite BBQ sauce

Blueberries or fruit of your choice if you want a sweeter addition

½ cup sugar

1 Tbsp. garlic powder

1 Tbsp. onion powder

2-4 cloves garlic, chopped fine

Salt & pepper to taste / you may want to up the garlic & onion powder to your taste

Cook shoulder roast at 325^o in the beer and beef broth / fat side up / covered 1 hour and uncovered 1 hour

Cut onions into bite sized pieces / caramelize in 2 Tbsp. olive oil

To cooked onions add 1 Tbsp. Kitchen Bouquet and 1 Tbsp. Worcestershire and simmer for short while and set aside.

Simmer together blueberries and sugar until blueberries almost cooked through / add BBQ sauce, chopped garlic and cooked onion mixture / simmer together @ 15 minutes or until garlic is cooked

Remove roast from the liquid. Reserve the liquid in case you need it.

Shred roast / remove all fat / place in large pot or original roasting pan

Stir in onions-blueberries-BBQ sauce mix / add powder ingredients / use beer/beef liquid if needed to make to your moisture preference.

I loaded on King’s Hawaiin Rolls / makes about 2 dozen

More Recipes

So I just received an email telling me I forgot some.

Here goes:

Curry Chicken Casserole

1 whole chicken / split down breast / smoke on outdoor grill with charcoal and pecan wood about 15 minutes.

Bring inside and cover with curry powder to the extent you like curry (I went light for Supper Club) and bake however you normally bake chicken. I cook in a Pampered chef ceramic baker with a lid /  325 degrees / with a tiny amount of water in the bottom / cook for 2 hours. Do not lift lid. It falls off the bones, which makes deboning and shredding easier.

1 large bag frozen corn, thawed (You can blacken it in a skillet if you wish)

4 cups cooked rice

2 large onions chopped and caramelized

½ large bag shredded cheese – whatever flavor you prefer

1 package Ramen noodles (uncooked) broken up

Shred or chop the chicken

Mix all ingredients with 1 can cream of mushroom soup and heat in oven on 350 for long enough to melt cheese.

Spicy Pimento Cheese Sandwiches

20 sandwiches

Pimento cheese is a comfort food, people have strong opinions about it, and the flavor ranges from rather sweet to mustardy dill. Experiment.

2 pounds cheese*, grated

2 blocks cream cheese room temp

2 large jars pimento or other roasted red pepper, well drained and chopped

1 cup mayo (only if needed for spread-ability) added at the end to get correct consistency.

1 Tbsp. Cayenne pepper – to taste

2 tsp. onion powder

Crumbled Bacon optional / use 1 package

*Cheese used is most often Velveeta, mild cheddar or Colby. Grind or grate it fresh, for some reason the pre-grated cheeses don't make nearly as good a spread. Combine all ingredients thoroughly. A 16 to 20 ounce sandwich loaf will yield 9 double sandwiches or 36 tea sandwiches.

Orange Cilantro Rice Chicken Casserole

One full, small bottle orange extract

One bunch Cilantro

One chicken smoked and baked

2 small bags almond pieces

1 stick real, unsalted butter

Make rice as normal, but include the extract in the water mixture

Chop the chicken while rice is cooking

Chop the leafy parts of the Cilantro

Put all ingredients in large bowl while rice still warm and mix in the butter. It will melt while you mix.

Put in large tin pan (lasagna pan) coated with non-stick cooking spray.

Heat when ready to eat.

Cut ingredients by half to fit 9 x 13 casserole dish.

Fig Philo Cups

Figs / cut in quarters

Two small bags walnuts toasted and chopped

1 wheel brie cheese

½ stick real unsalted butter

1/3 cup sugar

1 tsp cinnamon

Dash in yellow curry to taste – if you wish

Cook figs in sugar, butter and cinnamon

Add walnuts

Melt brie into mixture

Add curry to taste

Spoon in to Philo dough cups

Recipes You've Been Bugging Me For

I have no pictures to post with these, but I can tell you there are servers and cooks at both Outback and Red Lobster in Baytown that will drool when I bring them some of these dishes. I have found that you can put anything in a flour tortilla or a pita pocket to make for easier eating. Note that the pitas are prone to tear if you are not slow and gentle in the cutting and prying them open process.

I have put the following in pitas:
King Ranch Casserole - just have to make it less soupy than normal
Ham & Apple Salad
Chicken & Apple Salad
Lasagna - just make with less noodles and a thicker sauce than normal

Flour Tortillas: (and they are so much better if you heat the tortillas on a griddle on both sides until they puff before you stuff them.)
Roast & Caramelized Onions - recipe below
Shepherd's Pie
Taco Meat with Blackened Corn & Cheese
Chicken & Rice Casserole

My Ham Salad and my Chicken Salad and my Roast Tacos seem to be big hits. Here is as close to a recipe as I can get.

Ham Salad

Make First: Combine most of a regular size jar of Mayo / add Dijon mustard and some honey to taste

1 fully cooked spiral cut ham chopped into bite size chunks

3 Red Delicious apples chopped into small pieces / bathe the apples in the mayo combo to prevent browning

¼ cup chopped pecans / bathe chunks in the mayo mix to prevent turning brown

2 - 3 stalks celery chopped small

Shredded cheese of choice – medium size bag (I prefer sharp cheddar for this)

Combine everything in large bowl, removing the apples from the mayo mix by hand, then add mayo mix to desired consistency for your spread.

Chicken Salad

Shred 1 whole cooked chicken (boiled or baked, your choice) (If you want a twist on it, rub the chicken down with yellow curry powder and bake it. If you remove the skin you will need to add a little curry to the final mix.)

Add fruit of 1 pomegranate (or one small container of the fruit)

Maybe even add grapes if you like

Instead of Mayo mixture use bottled Kroger poppy seed dressing – might not take a full bottle

Chop apple and keep in poppy seed mix to prevent turning brown

Combine all ingredients in large bowl, removing the apples from poppy seed mix by hand, then use poppy seed dressing as needed for desired consistency. (I have flavored my poppy seed dressing with orange extract – 1 tbsp per bottle)

Roast Tacos

One large cheap roast.

Cook in 225 degree oven for two hours sitting in beef broth – about 1” of liquid / do not cover

Remove from oven and chop into large chunks

Cook on medium low heat on stove top in rest of the carton of beef broth, 3 – 4 tbsp of Kitchen Bouquet and about 2 Tbsp of Worchester sauce / cover and let it simmer 2 hours and stir every now and then. If your liquid looks like it is cooking away, adds small amounts. You don’t want this to be runny.

Caramelize onions in butter.

When meat is done, shred it, put one full stick of real, unsalted butter in it to melt while shredding and add onions.

This will load roughly 28 tacos loaded thin, or 15 loaded generously.

My apologies for those cooking for 2 or 5. I can only cook for 20-30. King's Hawaiin Rolls are also good to use, but I try to make these an easy-to-hold one-hand meal. They are usually eating on the run between tables.

And Here is the Biggie Everyone Wants:

Micro Gala Apple Confections

2 tubes crescent rolls

In a large bowl or the pot you are going to cook the mixture in combine:

1 ½ tsp. cinnamon

1/8 cup water

¼ cup white sugar

¼ cup brown sugar (pack the cup) can be dark or light

Cut and add to the sugar mixture:

4 medium size Gala or Granny Smith apples / quarter the apples, remove core and seeds, cut in small bite sized pieces, remove skin or leave on as you prefer / as you cut the pieces roll them around in the cinnamon sugar mixture in the bowl to prevent them from turning brown

Then Add:

½ stick unsalted real butter

Cook on medium heat until apples are soft

Next Add:

½ cup chopped pecans

1 Tbsp dark Karo syrup

1 Tbsp flour

Mix well and turn off heat

Add 2 oz. cream cheese and stir until it totally blends in

Let mixture cool before you put on pastry dough

Put a good tablespoon or more in a crescent roll and roll up

I dress the last rolled tip with Craisens or a whole pecan

Dust raw pastry with more cinnamon and sugar

Bake as recommended on crescent tube

Would You Like Fries With That?

Every now and then, a little flirtation can do a body good. That was my side dish at dinner a few weeks ago, and I heartily recommend it.

I worked late one evening and decided to stop at my favorite watering hole on the way home. To my chagrin, my usual seat was taken. Short of being the old fart in church and telling that person to get out of my pew, I took the only seat left – on the corner of the bar where it turned the 90 degree angle of the U shaped bar. The wait staff called out to greet me, and we spoke for a moment. I was probably my snippy little self, because we laughed about something. While waiting for my drink, a deep voice said, “Well, hello. How has your evening been?” (or something to that effect) I turned and replied fine, worked late, mentioned weather stuff I think. We struck up a conversation. At one point I took off my glasses to clean them as we visited. He pretended to gasp and said, “Oh, my god, those eyes.” I believe a line about how blue they were was also uttered. It was straight out of a book I’d title Lines for Lounge Lizards. I laughed and told him he was being silly.

The evening wore on and he asked me if he could pay for my dinner. I said no, dinner leads to other things, and I was not looking for a relationship of any kind - even a casual one. I said I had too much water under the bridge to navigate. Besides that, I was probably too old for him. (Guys his age usually want a thirty-something to hang on their arm.) He thought he could knock that hurdle down by saying the year he graduated, and I beat him by being one year older. 

We talked about our experiences with marriage and divorce. He had been married but was left to bring up three daughters on his own (if I am remembering correctly) and I told him I’d jumped the broom three times. Husband #1 was a nice guy, I met him in a rock band. (I have written about those escapades in previous posts.) We dated for two years, were married for ten years and simply grew apart and saw life differently. There were other factors, but none relevant to today’s post.  Husband #2 I thought was my soul mate who ended up literally destroying my heart. We met in a concert band in which I played trumpet and he played tuba. At this point my table mate said he was afraid he didn’t stand a chance with me now because he also played the tuba back in the day. I dated husband #2 for one year and was married for almost eleven, so my track record thus far was twelve years in a relationship. After that I was gun shy, but I settled on marrying #3 for companionship. We all know that rarely works out and it didn’t.

We talked kids, dogs, work, etc. We joked a bit. He continued to hint about giving him a chance. I said nah and he replied with, “You never know. We might be soul mates.” and told me I was breaking his heart. (I should collect these lines and actually write that book I mentioned earlier.) I snapped back that I knew he wasn’t serious, probably just looking for an easy hook up or a berth in the current port. But I did tell him I was enjoying the conversation, because, if I wasn't, I could have chased him away very easily. He asked, “Oh, really?” I replied that I had done it before and did so very successfully. Flirting table mate was curious so I proceeded to tell him the story of the evening an old geezer sat down beside me. As Mr. Geezer started up the conversation I could tell where he was going. He physically turned to face me and, with an elbow propped up on the bar, he slid closer and closer. My bartenders were worrying about whether or not they needed to defend me by distracting him or move me to safety. One said, “Nah. Miss Cheryl can take care of herself.” After a few short minutes Sire Geezer shifted his body weight, straightened up and fled to another section of the bar pretending to go speak to someone he recognized. The bartender came over and told me he had been getting worried and asked how I got rid of Lord Geezer. I said that I had been a little naughty, but it worked. When the turning point came that Admiral Geezer leaned in and invited me to dinner with the inference that we could get to know each other (wink, wink) I thought I could stop him easily with one line. That Didn’t Happen. In sentence fashion here is what went down:

“Oh, sir, I am sorry. I believe we are looking for the same thing.”

His eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store. I knew the word AFFAIR was floating in the air.

I thought, oh crap, think, think, think.

“I mean, I swing for the other team”

He looked confused and asked if I played sports and proceeded to say that he loved sports. He could take me to games, yack, yack, yack.

Again, crap, crap, crap. Think, think, think.

“No, I mean I prefer women. Two boobs and a bush. What is not to like about all that?”

He froze, straightened up and claimed to spot an old buddy and raced away like a cartoon character leaving a trail of dust hanging suspended in the air.

When I finishing telling my waiter the tale, he exclaimed, “Oh, Miss Cheryl. You are so naughty. I’m going to go tell everyone!”

My table mate raised an eyebrow and told me I was, indeed, a tough customer. I agreed. Conversation continued about kids and dogs. A waitress dropped a glass and something was said about a heart shattering. (Well, he shouldn’t have had it on his sleeve. It wouldn’t have slipped off so easily.) What I was tempted to tell him was that I have so much baggage at this point in my life, if I had a tramp stamp on my backside it would say “Southern Pacific Railroad,” and my right butt cheek would have the tattooed manifest of all I’ve been through running down to mid-thigh.

It came time for him to leave. He paid his tab and said, “Woman, I am leaving to go be heartbroken in my hotel room. I feel I have been played tonight.” I quipped something back, might have invited him to return for more punishment someday but don’t remember what, exactly.

After he left, my girls behind the bar raced over and asked if I gave him my phone number. I said of course not. He was probably just looking to hook up on this business trip and may even have a wife at home. They were begging to differ with me, but I was pretty sure. They told me he had his credit card out to pay his tab when I walked in. When I set my stuff down and went to the restroom he slipped the card back in his pocket and proceeded to run up a tab as an excuse to stay longer. That surprised me, because he did stay much longer than someone looking for an easy mark for the evening. Since he was nice looking, he could have left when he knew he struck out and gone to the next place down the road to find a cheap date. Hmmmm. Now I am curious.

A week later I was sitting with my ex discussing the funeral arrangements for his brother’s wife who was killed in a tragic accident. We were discussing my participation in the funeral because Delia was not just a former sister in law of mine. She was also my friend. My flirting friend of the other evening walked in and sat down opposite Ramon and I and nodded hello. I barely acknowledged him in my grief-stricken state. He asked the bartender if Ramon was my father, and she told him no – he’s the ex-husband. (She later told me he said, “Oh, I just nodded to her. I hope I didn’t get her in any trouble.” She assured him I had things under control.) Ramon and I finished dinner, paid our ticket and prepared to leave. On a whim, I took the duplicate receipt and scribbled a note saying something like this: Dear friend across the way. Sorry I couldn’t break your heart tonight. Maybe I can another day.

I left feeling as foolish as a school girl. I must say, even old ladies like me can remember what it felt like to be young. And I think I’ll order up a side of flirtatious conversation next time instead of fries. Damn, it was fun.

Running Out Of Gas

I took Lil' Buddy to work one day. It was cool enough not to break a sweat on the drive to work, and it wouldn't matter if it got a little muggy on the way home. My regular vehicle was in the shop, so I opted not to rent a car.

Let me preface this story by telling you that neither the gas gauge nor the speedometer work on Lil' Buddy. So my habit is to fill him up with gas every single time I drive. Well, guess what I forgot to do. I made the trip over the bridge, ran to pick up lunch for myself and some co-workers and headed back to work. I was at the worst intersection on Hwy. 146 in Seabrook. Sure enough, I stalled out and sputtered to a halt. People went around me - rolling windows down for a photo opt or yelling at me to blow the horn. I called for someone to come get the food from me before it was inedible and called to have someone bring me some gas.

I guess I shouldn't give up on young people, yet. Three young Hispanic males in a truck pulled up to help. Only two spoke English, so one stayed in the truck while the other two directed him in Spanish to slowly merge the truck into other lanes to block them. They told me to sit tight and steer. They said they were going to physically push the car about a block to get me safely to a parking lot. Once there, one took off in the truck while the others stayed to talk and make sure I was safe until someone came to help me get back to work. They told me they lived fairly close and Julio was going to get a little gas for me.

I protested the extra step because I had no cash to repay them.  I asked if they would give me an address so I could send a check. They said absolutely not. They did not expect repayment. Gas arrived, and, again, I offered to send money. They said no, but they did have a request......they wanted to take pictures with the car. I told them to have fun.

They sat in it, took pics of the engine and the rumble seat, called a buddy and said, "Jose, listen to this, dude!" as they blew the ooga horn and recorded it, took selfies in front of it and were posting photos to their friends as fast as possible.

My help arrived, I thanked them and they were soon gone. But the impression they left me with will never be gone. I hope that their silver-grey pick up pulls up next to me some day and they wave hello. I'll blow the ooga horn and wave like I have known them forever.

A Love Story 60 Years in the Making

Sometimes you hear a story on the radio and just have to say awe….

An 81 year old lady pitched her story to the Ted Radio Hour. She didn't win a spot to tell her story live on the radio, but they were so impressed with the story that they played her audition clip at the end of the January 23rd show.

When she was in college she worked in a science lab harvesting algae. Some of the other ladies were communicating via pictographs making fun of her. She found out, and her feelings were very hurt. She confided in a colleague. He suggested they start doing the same thing but using their own system they created.

Sixty years later, he found her and mailed her all the pictographs she had given him in those early college years. She said every single one was in the box, but mixed in the pages was a new one. One she had never seen and not one she had given him.

Translated, it read, “I have never stopped loving you.” He didn’t make it easy for her to find him, possibly in fear of rejection. After an intense search with some help she did find him. She discovered he was either working on, or had published, a book titled “Living to be 120."

He was 95 years old the year she found him. She said she figured if she could live to 102 they would have 31 years together, and that is better than most marriages today.

AWE