Mother was not diagnosed with Alzheimer's until Fall of 2007. Prior to that we kept a chronicle of events to show the doctors what she was forgetting and what she was doing different from her usual habits. I knew the day would come when social activity would no longer be possible.
In the effort to maintain a semblance of normal life, I took mother on a trip to Fort Worth to see Tina for Mother's Day in Spring of 2007. Tina and I went shopping to buy matching outfits for the three generations. The night before the planned photo shoot at the Botanical Gardens in Fort Worth we showed mother the cute clothes we were to all wear the next day. She smiled and nodded her head.
The next morning mother walked out in a pink pantsuit with pink shoes and pink jewelry. She was completely confused when we told her to go change into the garments that matched ours. She complied, but made remarks the whole time we traveled to the gardens. In her mind she is supposed to dress up every day like it is Easter Sunday. She matches from head to toe in the same color and wears a full compliment of jewels. On this day she was wearing three different colors and for reasons she did not understand.
She seemed to have fun taking pictures. She smiled when prompted, but she didn't always look at the camera until we called her attention back to us. Her mind easily wandered, which was a clear indication of the dementia. Her gaze was vacant in many of the pictures. In the few we did snap that were good, the difference in her look in 2007 compared to just a couple of years prior was disheartening. The photos were strong evidence that she had changed.
As we were leaving, a family remarked on how adorable we all looked. They jokingly asked, "What's the occasion?" Mother's Day and three generations was the obvious answer hanging in the air like a neon sign. Mom's answer, "I have no idea why we did this."
I later voiced my thoughts on the day. I tried to second guess myself on whether or not she would have been more comfortable in the pink suit, if she would have smiled more, if she would have enjoyed the day more. But, deep in my heart, I knew the photos would have still reflected the same image - a portrait of a mother, a daughter and a granddaughter. Of the three faces, one set of eyes would be looking right through and past the eye of the photographer without recognition or understanding - confused, unsure, yet smiling all the while and trying desperately to appear normal when the comprehension of normal has slipped away.
