Second Grade is Tough

I have often admitted I was not the prettiest kid in the world growing up. Okay, so I was downright homely with red hair, freckles and great big eyes. My eyes were so big they looked like bug eyes on a mosquito hawk. Glasses only magnified that image.

I had a boy approach me on the playground and ask me, "Why is your name Cheryl? Cheryls have blonde hair and are pretty." Ouch. Red-Headed Monkey was one of the nicknames tagged on me. Bug Eyes - ah, the list was endless. It didn't get any better in junior high. Oh, and might I add that I had no reason to buy a bra? Band-aids were all I needed until after the birth of my daughter. Compound the freckles, red hair and big eyes with a flat chest - the old joke about "taking me on a date because they were "studying undeveloped countries" was another zinger I heard. Fortunately for me I had a whole trumpet section of friends in band - made up of mostly guys. I survived high school because of those guys and a couple of other girls in our section. Many I have stayed in touch with through the passing years, and some I have now reconnected with via social media.

There was one bright spot after all the years of torture....a high school reunion many moons after graduation. I arrived to find raised eyebrows in my direction. I was slim, dressed cute, and contact lenses helped me come out from behind the barrier of thick glasses that hid my naturally long eyelashes. (FYI enough mascara can bring out the best in anyone. In the words of Tammy Fay Baker, "I am addicted to Maybelline.") I walked around the reunion and discovered that most of the popular girls and former cheerleaders weren't even present. I guess they didn't lose the hoped-for 40 pounds in time for the event.

I must have blossomed in my adult years. I think my best years were from 40 to 50, if you can believe that. At the age of 52 they were still asking for my I.D. in every liquor store I patronized. I learned to shop in one place just to save the hassle of fishing out my driver's license. And I know I shouldn't complain about that AT ALL. I told that story to my preacher and realized I could have worded the story differently, like inserting church bazaar in place of liquor store. He wouldn't have fallen for it because we all know they don't take your I.D. at the church bazaar.Wait - the Catholics have beer and wine booths. I could have totally sold the bazaar line. I would still be admitting to boozing it up but FOR A GOOD CAUSE. I should have thought of that a long time ago.

However, my story here is to set up the fact that the second grade can still cause pain  at any age. My daughter (now a beautiful young woman whose poise and beauty bring to mind the classic elegance of Audrey Hepburn) also suffered some of the usual Second Grade elements that can slow a girl down in life, even if only briefly. Tina had an eye issue that required the wearing of bifocal glasses by age three. Yes, bifocals at three. By the time she entered second grade her glasses were thick, heavy and did not make her eyes very attractive at the time. (Fast forward to today and she is stunning.) But, at age seven, she also had a few freckles scattered on her nose and fell prey to the doom of every second grader......missing teeth.

With the missing teeth prevalent in every second graders' mouth, also comes a little lisp. They all do it. They all accept it. We adults think nothing of it. We pass off second grade life issues because they are merely CHILDREN and will grow out of little problems like missing teeth and a lisp....until, that is, something happens that makes us realize that these second graders are also very smart and have ways of handling life's ups and downs in ways we adults wouldn't think of. Leave it to a second grader to figure things out, assess the issue, address the issue and move on.

So picture this: It was 1985. We were in line at a local cafeteria. We were surrounded by people. We were standing elbow to elbow with everyone and we could all hear each others' conversations. Tina was in the second grade. Bifocals perched on her freckled nose. (I contend she was adorable at the time.) Two teeth are missing in both the front uppers and lowers. She lisps a little when she speaks. (I contend this was also adorable.) We were standing next to an old guy wearing coveralls and a straw hat. He struck up a conversation about the nice weather, etc. Then he addressed Tina. "I see you are missing some teeth." he said. "Have you been fighting with the boys?" Tina looked him square in the eyes and replied, (I will try to type this the way is sounded.) "Mithter, I am in the theconth grade. No one in the theconth grade hath theeth. You're noth in the theconth grade. How come you thon'th have theeth?"

My brain went immediately to beg "Please ground, open up and swallow me."